Loser. With a big L

Today, I struggled.

1. Puddles. Nubbin jumps in every one from here to the front door of preschool. wet kid delivery.

2. Work out. no way. Fafa freaks out at the babysitting room.

3. Shopping. I thought I had something to wear to husband's Xmas party. so wrong.

4. Lunch. hungry 2 year old. the hungrier they are, the higher the pitch of their scream.

4. Batman. Fafa freaks out because he can't find Batman.

5. Umbrella. Again, Fafa freaks out because he wants to carry the umbrella.

By the time I pick up Nubbin, I've had it and find myself shoveling Fafa under one arm like a sack of potatoes and he's screaming like he's being kidnapped (safety part of my brain is elated, the rest just deflated). I let him down with a 'I had enough' sigh and he loses his balance, falls and hits his head on the door. Too terrified to look up at the hall full of parents, I grab Nubbin's stuff from the cubby and stare at the door.

When the teacher hands over Nubbin, she politely asks, 'Was that Ethan hitting the door?' I mutter 'yes' and she says delicately, 'We all have days like this.' Silently, she knows that I'm at the end of my rope. Silently, I know that I should try harder. Tomorrow will be better... that's my mantra today. Tomorrow will be better.